Drizzy Draft Day Series

Drake loves sports. We know that because he goes out of his way to prove it to us. A sports team also employs him, the 6’s own Toronto Raptors. He frequently shows up in disguise, dressed like a grandmother sitting courtside, but Drake, we know it’s you. In previous musical projects, Drake makes several sports references so I figured it’d be time to go through his newest project (If You're Reading This It's Too Late) and break them all down. They’re graded on levels of awkwardness because of that time he showed up at Kentucky, and did everything the men’s basketball team did from video sessions, to locker room prep, to warming up. What he didn’t do however was hit a shot. He does though in this album, so he’s kind of forgiven.

10 Bandz

I get boxes of free Jordans like I play for North Carolina

How much I make off the deal, how the f*ck should I know?

This is more of a #humblebrag than a sports reference. Drake has a deal with Jordan for OVO sneakers but clearly, because of his boatloads of money, has no idea how much it’s worth. Funny story, I was at the first ever Drake Night, as part of Drizzy’s Global Ambasadorship with the Toronto Raptors, and it was first time the OVO Jordans were given away. The person who won put them up on ebay the next day, and they were reportedly bid up to nearly $100,000.

5

5 awkward Drake faces out of 5

 

 Yeah, shouts go out to Nike, checks all over me

I need a FuelBand just to see how long the run has been

Again, this is another “Drake’s better than us” moment. First, you’re like “oh cute, he used CHECKS to mean the Nike Swoosh” but then I tell you he has an endorsement deal with Nike and all of a sudden there’s a double-entendre because checks::cheques. Also FuelBand’s weren’t invented in 2006, when so far gone was released so I’m not sure it would’ve kept track of how long his musical run has been.

3

3 awkward Drake faces out of 5

 

6 God

Rolling Swishers hittin’ swishes

Got me feeling like a ball hog

I don’t pass it when I get it

Now, Drake, I think based on recent history we SHOULD be passing the ball when we get it.

[vine url=”https://vine.co/v/Obun3aLBKjw; width=480 height=480]

Drake, however, does offer some potential reason for his air-ball seen around the world at Kentucky. I have to assume it’s REALLY hard to play basketball after you’ve rolled some Swishers. If you don’t know, Swisher Sweets are a type of cigar that you can remove the tobacco from and fill with marijuana. Drake was high at Kentucky, hence the airball. It’s time to forgive Drake for this.

5

5 awkward Drake faces out of 5

 

Used To

 Shaq postin’ up on n*ggas that I used to have posters of

This line kind of comes out of nowhere on the track but it kind of explains Drake as well. He’s known to hop on the D of every successful sports team, although that’s been less noticeable since his employment by the Toronto Raptors. Looking back at Shaq’s ten most ridiculous dunks

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV9di-miziQ&w=640&h=385]

you get a sense of what Drake’s room was like growing up. These are the victims of Shaq facials:

  1. Samuel Dalembert
    9. Robert Parish
    8. Dikembe Mutombo
    7. Dennis Rodman and Luke Longley
    6. Shawn Bradley
    5. Yao Ming
    4. David Robinson
    3. Hakeem Olajuwon
    2. Kelvin Cato
    1. Every New Jersey Net

Hey at least Drake’s been consistent.


3

3 awkward Drake faces out of 5.

 

6 Man

Boomin’ out in South Gwinnett like Lou Will

6 Man like Lou Will, 2 girls and they get along like I’,m Louuuu

Like I’m Lou Will, I just got the new deal 

Well damn, a real reference kids. Let’s break this down. Lou Williams plays for the Toronto Raptors, the team of course that Drake serves as Global Ambassador for. Lou’s from South Gwinnett high school, which means Drake did some research. LOU WILLIAMS ALSO HAS 2 GIRLFRIENDS WHO GET A LONG. NOW HE’S THE SUBJECT OF A DRAKE SONG. LOU’S NEVER LEAVING TORONTO. Unless he is because he’s on a 1-year deal, but Drake seems to hint that he just got a new deal. Drake’s also the GM for the Raptors if you didn’t know. This might be the greatest Drake sports reference of all-time.

1

1 awkward Drake faces out of 5.

 

I might go DeMarcus Cousins out in public

 We go from the best, to maybe the worst sports reference by Drake. The only explanation for this is that Drake likes to Boogie, which is Cousins nickname, OR he refuses to shake hands with the other team, like Cousins has famously refused to do, or let his teammates do. Meh.

3

3 awkward Drake faces out of 5.

 

6pm in New York

Allen Iverson shoe deal, these n*ggas all in question

Our final sports reference on the album is a deep one. He’s not referencing a shoe deal with AI or Reebok, because he started the album talking about his Jordan deal. Fun fact, AI crossed the hell out of MJ in 1997 something Drake referred to in ‘Thank Me Later’. Let’s look at the end of this line, when Drake’s saying that everybodies in question. What was AI’s nickname I ask you? THE ANSWER! Drake has ALL the answers to all your questions, and I quite frankly have no more left.

2

2 awkward Drake faces out of 5.

 

If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late isn’t as sports heavy as previous Drake albums, which I found interesting given Drizzy’s love, or fake love, for sport. It is however stripper heavy, so I guess you win some and lose some.


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